It’s the Single Things in Life

“So, what are you on Tinder for?”


That question always leaves me puzzled. I never know how to answer that.
It’s like asking what is the meaning of life in the world of a single, attractive female on Tinder.

I don’t know why I’m on Tinder. Maybe I’m bored. Maybe I’m looking for love (probably not).
I’m not a hookup kind of girl. Why AM I on here? I don’t fit in. I don’t belong.

These are the things I want to respond with when asked this question:

  1. I’m just looking for someone I can be emotionally unstable with.
  2. I want to marry for money. So what do you do for a living?
  3. I thought it was the new candy crush fad.. and well, I’m not wrong.
  4. I’m looking to be your next crazy ex-girlfriend.
  5. I want someone to cuddle with and buy me wine (this one is actually true)
  6. Hookups, duh.
  7. A boyfriend, duh.
  8. I’m a psychology student who is trying to psychoanalyze why other people are on here.
  9. Trying to find my Prince Charming.
  10. To superficially judge people on their appearance.
  11. I’m looking for a future husband. By the way, is your friend in your second photo single?
  12. I’m here to get my eggs fertilized.
  13. I want someone to practice my mating call with.
  14. I’m just Mindy Lahiri searching the world for my Danny Castellano.
  15. Looking for a thunder buddy.
  16. I’m just looking for someone to make boring conversation with until someone better comes along.
  17. I heard there was free food. (There’s not)
  18. Looking for someone to feed my caffeine obsession.
  19. Looking for someone who would buy me a puppy if I asked really nicely.
  20. I’m trying to find myself.

There are so many other things I have thought of saying also. But alas, I find myself in this weird limbo between not wanting a hookup and not wanting a boyfriend.

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